Week 1

The beginning is always a dream. Week one went beyond my expectations with a lot of beer, new people and some rain mixed up. 

There are several things that I learned in the Netherlands such as that the back part of the products are in Dutch, German and French. Relying on my three years of French is not exactly the best decision, but it has served its purpose and Jumbo has wifi which has helped a lot!

I happen to enjoy biking, but the rain and the wind are two things that I would happily pass. Adding that to the fact that I feel quite claustrophobic when I see too many bikes together. And yes, I have almost been hit by a car, a couple of bikes and ran into a kid, it happens. Nonetheless, there is no sweetest thing than seeing little children biking or parents with the baskets and the kids on it, it is just adorable. My favorite part nonetheless was this elderly couple in which one was biking and the other one was riding something. 

Canals are also a reality here and I have to say there are never too many canals  or pictures taken to them. Each one is different and they are absolutely beautiful with the restaurant boats in them. I learnt that besides water there are also bikes inside so swimming isn't really an option.

I can testify that dutch people are just lovely. During my freshmen weekend I met some and lets just say that they speak Dutch and English amazingly well. To be honest, anyone speaks well English in this country which has made my life ten times easier. The supermarket is indeed a harder task, but other than that... 

So far I have been living the good life, I went to freshmen weekend, Owee and to the Introduction Program. Delft and Rotterdam are covered, next stop will be The Hague and Amsterdam! I am quite excited to see what the future holds for me but so far is been an absolute roller coaster and I couldn't ask for better!

Dear Jan

There are many lessons that you learn in life from school to work. Nonetheless, you also learn a lot from hurt because that means at some point there was happiness, at least in my opinion.

I has been six months without you and now I am finally free. I look at our pictures not with sadness or anger, but with nostalgia of what we used to be, what I used to be.
I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you taught me during a semester or even tell you face to face. You made me feel possibly one of the most amazing women ever simply for being there. I was no longer just an engineering student with a good GPA, I was human being capable of loving, caring and succeed both academically and non academically. I lived some of my best days with you and I will forever remember you as my first boyfriend. In the limited time we knew we had you took me out of my comfort zone from the sandwich I chose in Subway to empowering me to be my best. You accepted my craziness, my strength, my emotional baggage and myself just the way I am everyday with a smile on your face. We had two months and half and that was all it took to turn my world upside down.
I had never thought about how it would end, but I would never imagine that it would actually end the way it did. It hurt a lot, and I mean a lot. I went home for Christmas and came back to college and you were no longer there, but everything else was. The bed we slept in, the library we spent time everyday, the sticker I once left you and the people who knew both of us. I thought I was alright with it, but I wasn't. I was going through my first phase of denial and I just tried to speed it up because we knew it was going to happen in the first place. There was a limbo time where I was just there and not really feeling anything, just sadness and stress from school work. The worst part was that you were not there to deal with me. You were my confidant before bed. my partner to teach me moment and missing in my second semester.
Things did not come any easier when spring break came around. Here I thought everything went wrong because there were over 5000 km separating us and then you made it back to meet with your new girlfriend who happens to study at my Uni. I was sad when I received the news from our common friends, but then it was just anger. It was pure rage during that day and I guarantee you I called you every name I could in both languages I am able to speak. After rationalizing it and coming to my senses I was devastated all over again. It took a long time to heal even though I had no right to be hurt in the first place. I told myself I was happy for you and glad you found someone better than me.
Now looking at the situation I laugh at it. She is a better fit, not better or worse, different. You didn't hurt me at that point, you hurt my ego. The time I blocked you on snapchat I thought it would just be easier to not see how you moved on so quickly. I knew you would be the first out of the two, I just did not expect that way. Today, I look at what I had with great happiness and pride. Yes, there were moments I was petty, angry, sad, bitter to everyone around me, but I am ready to move on.
I learnt how to appreciate myself because if there was ever an amazing human being such as yourself who thought of me beyond a friend, I think I did something right. I learnt that I was able to have someone and still be myself as a woman, a student and a friend. I learnt that time is everything from the moment you spend together to the time you take to heal. Looking at it, there was a period that I thought I was just a mistake because if you had met her sooner maybe things could have gone a different way. Maybe if that had happened there would be no negative balance when looking at four months of grieve with two months of happiness, maybe I shouldn't have quit on a "I don't know", there were a lot of maybes.
Looking into the future, the maybes did not happen and we are both happy. I am ready to move on and go for it again. I know I move from place to place and my next relationship might end just for the same reason, but only time will tell when is my time to settle for a change. In the end, I will always agree with you on one thing "Everything is gonna be fine" because we are fine and I look forward to see what my future will bring me as I hope yours will bring you.

Going abroad

As an international student you would expect to be more ready than anyone else to go abroad, but that is not the case. Moving to another place is always a shot in the dark, you may love it or hate it.

1. Be the chameleon
There is always an adjustment no matter where you go that will push you out of your comfort zone. You must be able to deal with it because it will happen whether you like it or not. Be the chameleon you need to be to blend in as much as you can. There is nothing that can compare to the unique experience that it is to be surround with people that know the dos and the don'ts of the area. It is creating a different character within the person you are and explore a side that you never imagined existed.

2. Behave like a todler
When you look at things for the first time try them with no regrets. Try the food, the drinks, the clothes and everything else that is touristy because it is the only way you'll find what you like. Once those experiences are off the bucket list you'll become a townie. Soon enough you'll see others appreciating everything like you once did and you'll smile telling them the dos and don'ts.

3. There are no mistakes just learning experiences
Every experience is unique and I don't believe in moments you regret, but experiences in which you learn what you don't like. If you tried something in the first place there was a certain curiosity and that is alright. These are the moments you should do those mistakes because no one really knows you and there is no preconceived idea. You are starting from scratch and the only person that will remember that "mistake" in 30 years is you. If you want to go on that scary roller coaster just make sure you make it eventful.

4. Enjoy what you have now
Time is not going back and if you have two months, you've got two months. If you have 2 years, you have 2 years, make sure you enjoy it. Smile when you wake up in a bed across the world with a different time zone from your parents. Appreciate the little things you have in each place because like people, they are all unique. Celebrate each day specially if it is a holiday. Do something now and don't think about the consequences in three months. There will be the time that you look back and just laugh at the experiences you had.

5. Remember and keep in touch
It is always important to remember where we're from but also places and people that have touched our hearts after that. Somehow there is a point in our lives that we went somewhere, we met someone and it really doesn't matter how long but the mark they left us. People say souvenirs are cheesy, some people buy a fridge magnet I buy a postcard in every place I go. I have been there for the most diverse reasons and every place has given me something even if it was just a safe land.

6. Never stop doing it
There will always be a place to go, someone to meet. Make sure you do it again to see the good and the bad. It is alright to repeat the destination if it is what you want to do. In the end of the day is about you being aware your room is an environment you can control, but the world outside brings much more thrill no matter what kind of person you are.

Going abroad is frightful, exciting, challenging, demanding and life changing. It pushes you, it makes you grow and be a better person and it tears you to your core. It makes you want to go home, never leave the new place or just increases your curiosity about your next destination. Overall, it makes you more human with all its imperfections, mistakes and humbleness to the person besides you.

Being a female engineer

If anyone ever told you that engineering is easy they were certainly lying.
You know that girl that loved Lego and puzzles when she was little? That's me. I even had a plastic kitchen to play with and apparently I barely ever used it. There is no need to note that my love for a kitchen remains the same.
My first memory related with numbers is writing times table with a yellow pen when I was around six. It is a simple image that to this day still makes sense. I was never about the reading and the understanding, I needed the simplicity and exactness that math provided. There were times that I considered other careers paths as any child did. Believe me, I wanted to be the teacher and the hairdresser and some other ones until around seventh grade.
On seventh grade I was introduced what is known among people as physics and chemistry. Math was no longer just math, it was a way to understand what happens around us. Three years went by and I chose as my secondary school area science and technologies. That was the biggest ratio slap I had taken until then. There were six girls and nineteen boys loving science to later major in engineering, medicine, sports, etc. Truth be told, there was never once an issue with it. Every person in that classroom respected each other no matter gender, grades or status. I knew I was a minority, and even if I didn't notice it with the other girls, being the only one out of thirteen in my physics class during twelveth  grade could tell. Yet, it just got worse.
Going to a college with three girls each ten students speaks volumes, but nothing new there. It is not ideal to be one out of three girls in a room with over thirty students, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I do love techie schools. I love the nerdy environment with the various research projects, numbers and untimely the fact that there are so many college boys just inside one campus. It is true that the entire school is not about partying hard and going wild, but I do believe we get the best of both worlds most of the time.
Of course when certain topics come up there is that tiny percentage of human beings that really makes you question how did they get there. Have I ever heard I shouldn't make as much money as my male colleague doing the same job if that affected him? Yes, I did. The comment about being a girl would make it easier to get help? Yes, I did. The "Really?" when I say what my major is? Yes, I did. Nonetheless, I have found so many more that consider myself just another engineer.
For the last two years, I have found a group of people who I can study Rigid Body Dynamics and watch "The Duff" and yes, they are all male. That thirty percent is an absolute lie when you narrow it down to aeronautical or mechanical engineering. They see me in my glorious and bad days, there is no holding back with those boys. They go through thick and thin with me and never once questioning my integrity as a future engineer. There is a bad experience from time to time, but the amount of mutual support and strong bonds made both academically and non academically is what I take from these four years. I have found people that empower me to become my very best and it has worked so far.
People tend to say that girls tend to fight with each other more, I could not disagree more. Every girl I have met has a different story from a different place. Even though sometimes they say I live a unique experience, that is also thanks to them. From all majors they inspire me with their choices both professional and personal. Every single lady I meet has such a unique perspective and so much potential ahead. There is no way I can ever imagine myself as a competitor or an envious person when looking at their success. I want to be in the first row to watch my friends get the job. Engineering is all about team work and I take that in and outside the classroom no matter if that person is female or male.

The Introduction

Everyone starts with an introduction, some better than others, but I guess I'll give it a try.

As obvious as it is my name is Delfina. I am currently an international student studying somewhere in New York. I am an Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering major with a life between semesters, let's just say that college is rough. I am not going to lie, it is hard, there is a lot of crying and ice cream involved but I have survived so far. I am also going to be an exchange student in the Netherlands next year and yes, I will be closer to home and legal to drink for that matter.

It is also obvious that I am not a writer, thus this is not a good example of English literature. I do think it is the perfect place to put my personal experiences and perspective on certain matters. I like to consider myself a nerd, but a cool nerd. I am socially awkward and and it's been quite a ride these past couple years which is why I think it needs to be shared. Above all, I'd like to think that I am not the only person that feels absolutely lost in every single aspect of my life while in college.